Today I almost cried after I found a home, my true dream home. It’s the house I’ve had images of in my mind for years. It’s THE perfect spot, for me, and my family. There’s only one problem – that’s my dream, not theirs.
I attached myself so quickly to this gorgeous old stone farmhouse that I started to call it “mine”! I imagined us living there, on the farm, near a lake. I saw us doing the things we want to do – our hobbies and our dream jobs. I stared at the photos and website, dedicated to this place, for hours. I attached myself and my thoughts, they all went there.
Attachment … It’s an idea I’ve been fascinated with lately. Things are just things. You can’t wait to get that new car. You get it. You drive it. It’s nice. It’s over. New car syndrome is finished. Now what?
Attachment can happen quickly, it can come and just sweep us off of our feet. Would moving into this place tomorrow make me a better person? no. Would it make me happier? I feel as thought it would since I want to live near nature. But in the end, it may not be the end all be all. It may just be the temporary “high” I’m in search of for the moment. So I breathe through it. Meditate with the idea. I nurture the thoughts and acknowledge that they exist. There’s no forcing anything. I don’t attempt to “bury” anything or rationalize. I just am. I can only be present and tend to my thoughts.
For 30+ years I collected things, loved things, “had to have” things and admired things. There’s nothing wrong with having and appreciating, but living for things and waiting with baited breathe for the next visit to Bloomies isn’t going to make a difference in the end. These are just things.
I am fortunate to have a beautiful home and healthy family. I am fortunate to have seen beautiful photos of this “dream home” , and who knows if we’ll cross paths one day. That’s really not for me to decide. Only now is.
“We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.”- K. Rinpoche, Tibet